A New Baby

Walking through in the dark

Neutral, comfort, and warm

Nothing is good and nothing is bad

Everything is sameness

My surroundings are the same

Climate, pattern, and texture

There is no friction, no sensation

I can see but there is nothing interesting

I felt nothing from within myself

Living in isolated environment

Untouched and untouchable

I want to outgrowing, but the nature rejected me

I want to sustain my independent life

I want to see the world

The other climate, pattern, and texture

I have brain to think critically

I have heart to feel the difference

I have skin to keep me warm

I have muscles to keep me moving

Someone shows me, there is the other world

More exciting, interesting, and challenging

Different world, eligibility, freedom, equality

My neuron is working, my heart is beating, and my skin is tremble

Can I move to the other world?

The layer is opening, slowly, slowly, and moving

I am moving smoothly, regularly, gradually

I am moving towards the new way of life

But the my comfort area must diminish

Open my heart to receive the other sight

Keep it tight to remind me in the long way

Even it is still in limited space

I still can move with my struggle

However, my journey is not quite over yet

Someone remind me, I have to back

Not to be influenced but I have to be the wax in the dark

I have to struggle with my new world and the previous one

To living safely here and there

My new life-support system will help me to survive

Effort still have to be made

Effort which may or may not be painful as we know pain

The effort to be a struggle baby

Realizing that journey is still in the long way

Perhaps I will struggle

Perhaps someone will help me to be an initiator

Inspired by baby’s journey to life in the “Baby & child: From birth to age five”, Penelope Leach, 1977.

My eyes are open to see the other view of educational research. It is not only the simple way to control human behaviour. It also involves the ethical issues. I realize that it does not I have to stand only in one paradigm, but at least I know what the best way to create the improvement and the changes. I want to do the research which is useful not only for my professional context, but also for other. Creating the meaningful activities is my direction to interact with others. It is not only in educational research, but also in my teaching and learning process. However, it is a conflict within my heart; can I apply all of the new things in my world? I am only like a baby, just born with less experience. I need to be struggling to bring the new paradigms in my world, which is positivist, and science is the truth. Therefore, I still have to think, what are the strategies that I have to create to help me survive?